Four questions

Am I the only one who struggles with my mouth totally running ahead of my brain?  The only one who feels like yelling to the world that you’d really rather NOT be a grown-up but instead throw a monster sized tantrum?  The only one who when your teen-aged daughter has a melt-down, you join her?  Yeah, well, I’m an expert at all of the above.  I’ve really been working on some things, though, as hard as it has been, and I thought I’d share with you all a bit of what I’ve recently learned. 

Colossians 4:6 has me under conviction currently. 

“Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.”

Wow.  When I’m in all-about-me-I-don’t-wanna-be-a-grown-up-melt-down mode, does my speech measure up to this standard????  Ouch.  More importantly, what’s going through my heart and mind?  If we nurse them long enough, thoughts and feelings inevitably weasel their way into words…words we eventually come to regret.

I have yet to conquer the waves of crazy feelings that come crashing over me at times, but I have been begging and pleading with the Lord to help me watch my words…to help me think through the implications of what I’m saying...to help me stick with facts instead of letting feelings cloud my judgment.  All of these add up to a monumental task that is more challenging than anything else I’m facing.  And being a homeschooling mom of four and the wife of a cancer fighter, that is saying a lot.  But I mean it.  The little foxes spoil the vines, you know…and so it is in my case.  When I’m off my game and not watching, praying, reading the Word, or examining my heart, Satan attacks.  And sometimes it’s a little while before I realize what is going on.  Sometimes I don’t catch it until my emotions are fully engaged and it is difficult to sort out the facts. The battle can be incredibly difficult to fight, but God is faithful.  He WILL provide the strength if we are willing to follow His principles laid out for us in His Word.

This past week, I read a blog post written by Megan Rice on Mom Life Today.  I have so appreciated this blog!  Her article is specifically geared toward helping our kids work through their emotional melt-down moments, but I’ve snagged these four questions for use in my own journey. 

1.       What are you feeling?

2.       What caused you to feel this way?

3.       What is the truth about this situation?

4.       What is a good response to this situation?

I’ve noticed that if I pinpoint my emotions and give them a name, they shrink dramatically. 

Secondly, if I look for the cause of the emotion, I usually find that the emotions I’m feeling are way out of proportion to the actual event that caused them to flare up. Sometimes this second step alone can take the wind out of the sails of the craziness haunting me.

My best bet though, is number three.  What is the truth?  First, what is God’s truth about His love for me?  What is God’s truth about who I am? If I take a hard look at the persons involved, can I see through the haze of what Satan is tossing my way and remember the truth about the relationship?  If it involves my husband, it may feel as though he has done something insensitive or hurtful, but if everything else in our relationship points to his caring for me by working hard, by providing for the family, by telling me he loves me, by his faithfulness in all ways…how CAN I really believe him anything but what he says he is?  And all of my responses to anything he does that may SEEM insensitive need to be filtered through that truth. The same principle can be applied in every relationship.  I need to also look at the truth in my own actions.  Did I do my best in every aspect?  Did I please the Lord?  If so, no matter what Satan has to throw my way, it shouldn’t stick.  If I have not, maybe the beginning of clearing up the emotional haze would be to do some apologizing.  That can be difficult, but it can also cut the duration of a crazy period in half!

In determining the truth about a situation and diffusing some of the emotion from the scenario, we can then come closer to determining what our response to the situation should be – based on Scripture…not on our own misguided desires or tendencies.  1 Corinthians 13 comes quickly to mind.  Again, ouch.

Please remember that this is NOT, I repeat, NOT a process I have come anywhere NEAR perfecting. I’m totally in the learning stages with all of this.  But I figured maybe some accountability could come from sharing this with you all.  And maybe, just maybe it would be of some help to one of you. 

For my own benefit, I took the above questions and pared them down to one word each and wrote them on my bathroom mirror…along with some of my other favorite reminders…yeah, I have a large bathroom mirror!  This is my list:

1.       Feeling?

2.       Cause?

3.       Truth?

4.       Response?

Not that you couldn’t have come up with that yourselves (grin). Anyway, my experience has shown me that I need short and sweet reminders for crisis moments.  I can’t read a whole paragraph or digest a chapter in a book when I’m over-the-top emotional, so this is designed to quickly get my brain back on track and hope my emotions quickly follow! 

These verses have been my daily prayer for the past few weeks...may my heart be pure and my actions pleasing to the Heavenly Father...

“Have mercy upon my, O God, according to thy lovingkindness…

                Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts…

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me,

                Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me…

A broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.”

~Selections from Psalm 51

The New Year begins...

Happy New Year!!!

 

 

It’s the start of a new week, a new year.  We have a clean slate, a chance to begin anew, a chance to look ahead…and view with excitement the opportunities that lie before us…and view with some measure of dread the unknowns…

 

Yes, the unknowns.  I know that in all lives, some trouble will fall, but in the lives of some of the dear hearts reading this post, the past year has held much trouble, much heartache, and much sorrow. You have been beaten up emotionally and you wonder if healing will ever come.  Or your heart aches from a loss that has taken your breath away…for weeks or months…And maybe you enter this new year with much trepidation.  Maybe you lack the energy to face the prospect of the long days stretching before you.

 

Friend, take heart.  God is NOT dead!  God has NOT abandoned you!  He still loves and is wildly crazy about you! 

 

Someone asked recently in a Facebook post for some feedback on how others faced life disappointments such as unwanted singleness, a young parent with life-threatening cancer, or a frustrating outcome in one's career.  Many good answers were posted, too many to share here, but I typed the following thoughts (now edited) as my first response:

 

“I believe God allows us to experience some disappointing situations to keep us looking to Him – for if we were happy here, what gain would heaven be to us? Why would we want to keep striving toward that goal? God wants to be the answer to our every need, and we as humans don’t automatically see our need for Him when left on our own.”

 

I am no theologian.  I don’t claim any special wisdom.  But I will say I speak from some experience.  I am in the process of learning this lesson.  It has been a long, hard journey so far, and it’s not over.  Experiencing the life changes that come with a loved one battling cancer has caused major perspective adjustments, to say the least.

 

One of the major life lessons God has been so patiently urging me to learn is this lesson that HE wants to be THE answer for my every need. He longs for me to look to Him for strength for every minute of every hour.  He wants me to take my hurting heart to Him…to share those deep emotional needs with Him and allow His balm of mercy and grace to sooth and comfort like no human can.  He alone can fill the hole in my heart that I often look to others to fill.  My husband is not capable of filling this need…my children don’t want to even try…my best friends may feel too much pressure from me and may back away if I become too dependent on them.

 

Friends, look up!  God is ever ready to meet our needs, to hold us up when we feel unsteady, to bring us joy when all we feel is despair! 

 

But we have to let Him.

 

Are you facing the new year with some trepidation? Has the past year been something more difficult than you had bargained for?  Are there unknowns ahead that have your gut twisting and your heart pounding?  If not, this new year is wide open – full of opportunities for you to touch lives for Christ and make memories to last a life-time.  If so, what about taking the following Scriptures and songs to heart? Meditate on them, listen to and worship with them…and let the love, grace, strength, and soothing balm of the presence of the Holy Spirit fill the hurt places and calm the troubled waters of your soul.  Release the regrets of the past to His forgiveness, the stresses of the day into His capable hands, and the unknowns of the future into His almighty wisdom.  Rest, be renewed, and re-energized…for this new year is a chance!  A chance to experience God in new ways…a chance to learn just how much He cares for you…a chance to trust and see that trust rewarded with new levels of grace and strength for every new trial…

 

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

 

The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.  The Lord is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.  The Lord upholdeth all that fall, and raiseth up all those that be bowed down.  The Lord is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth.

Psalm 145: 8, 9, 14, 18

 

Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee:

he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

Psalm 55:22

 

 When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee;

and through the rivers,

they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire,

thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

Isaiah 43:2

 

What a Precious Friend Is He   Lyrics   Listen

Great is Thy Faithfulness  Lyrics  Listen

He Giveth More Strength Lyrics Listen
(notice the little-known third verse...it's a favorite of mine!)

I’m Gonna Make It  Listen

Dear hearts, be encouraged!  God has your very best in mind…He loves you so much!  He wants you to be heavenly minded and Him-focused….relaxed and refreshed by trusting fully in His control…joyful and serene because you have experienced His care…

Maybe you'd like to share a promise you are claiming for 2013!  We'd love to hear from you!

 

Remembering that "life isn't fair, but God is faithful,"

 

 

How to Make Time to Read This Year

 Sorry about the fuzzy pictures. I'm not sure what's going on with that!



When I put away Christmas decorations, make goals and plan for the New Year, I make my reading list. A strange thing to do perhaps, but as I've told you before, reading is an important part of my life. Reading is more than just a hobby for me--it is the way I learn and grow in life. I doubt I would be as far as I am without the books that have shaped me. Most particularly, the Book. I strive to always read God's Word first and take it as the ultimate authority upon which I base all other writings. Just because I read or even recommend a book does not mean I agree with it 100%. In fact, other than the Bible, I haven't found a book that I agree with completely, but many that I believe are mostly grounded in God's Word.

Photo Credit

A lot of women agree with me on my love for reading, but they say, "Oh, I don't have time to read!" I think we all have time for what is important to us. Of course God, our husbands and families and homes should come first. If you have outside employment, you should definitely fill your allotted time there before taking time to read. However, I have read over 50 books this year, mostly during the hours my children are sleeping. I almost never read through the day. I would sit and lose myself and neglect my child and home duties. I put the children to bed and that is my reading time. It may be 20 minutes or a few hours, depending on how early the children got to bed. Therefore, I believe that if reading is a priority, one will make time for it. Here are a few tips:

• Decide it's important. If you don't really enjoy reading or you have other hobbies you'd rather pursue, you probably won't get very far on a reading list. I'm not saying that everyone has to read. Rather, I'm trying to show you how to make time for it if it is as important to you as it is to me.

• Focus. I would hope that we all read God-honoring books, but even good novels can sometimes be a waste of time for a busy mother. You will find a few on my list, but I've found if I'm going to make reading a profitable hobby, I do better to read things that will better me as a wife, mother and home manager. My personal criteria for a book is it has to make me think, laugh or cry (bonus if it does all three!). If you are a novelist, have more time to spend on reading, or are in a different season of life than I am; your reading lists will probably look very different than mine. The key is to focus on what will make your life better. In order to focus on the important reading, I decide ahead of time what books I will read through the year. I may add to or subtract from the list as I go through the year, but at least I have a plan to read so many books on the few important topics I want to explore.

• Use online tools. I keep a notepad on my computer desktop with the books I plan to read and another one with books I want to read. If I come across a book recommendation on a blog or from a friend, I put it on the "want to read" list. When I decide what to read for the year, I transfer it from my "want to read" list to my "books to read this year" list. If I'm not sure I want to read something, I look it up on amazon.com to look inside it and read others' reviews on it. I reserve books online at my local library so I can just pick them up without wasting time browsing shelves. If I want to read a book that my library doesn't have, I check paperbackswap.com. I also use my swagbucks to purchase amazon gift cards to buy the books I can't find elsewhere.

Photo Credit

• Make a time. Our alarm clocks go off at a certain time each morning. We have set mealtimes (usually). If your kids go to school or other activities, you have a certain time you have to have them there. We make time to do the basic household chores.Why not make a time to read? I told you mine already. Some mothers read while nursing. Others read while waiting for their children at an activity. If you don't have young children or any children, it may be even easier to fit reading into your schedule.

Since I think reading is an integral part to my growth as a woman of God, I will publish my reading lists on the sidebar of the blog. If you are looking for a recommendation, you can check out what I've read, but please do your own "checking" of books. All of us have different ideals and sometimes, after I've read a book, I really don't want to recommend it after all.

Happy Reading in 2011! What's on your reading list this year?

Links and Books Review: Frugal Edition

I think the all time best book on the subject of frugality is Amy Dacyzn's The Complete Tightwad Gazette. Some of the ideas are way out there for our family, but a lot of them are really helpful. Amy and her family achieved their goals on one income simply by making frugal changes in their lives.

This is a popular subject right now with the current economy. Here are some things I've found around the blogosphere in recent months on the subject of being frugal:

• Excellent post on attitude by Frugal Dad: Stop Feeling Sorry for Me, I'm Frugal Not Broke
• Simple Mom shares Twelve Green and Frugal Lessons From My Mom
• Homeschooling for Less-Guide to Free Resources at Homeschool 365
• Looking for family fun for less? Check out the Frugal Family Fun Blog!
• Top 50 Frugality Blogs posted by Frugal Dad
• Into coupons and freebies? Crystal at Money Saving Mom is a great resource!
• A "wealth" of information from Molly at Econobusters
• How to Reduce Your Monthly Expenses from Heather at Happy to Be At Home

That's just a few to get you started. Put "frugal" into your Swagbucks search engine (Get some free money for searching! How's that for frugal?) and you'll have frugal reading for weeks!

How Frugal Are You?

Here is a quiz to see how frugal you are:

1. You jump in the shower and realize you have no shaving cream. You:

a. Don't shave at all.
b. Use some bar soap.
c. Shave using your hair conditioner.
d. Send your husband to the store and ask him to buy you your favorite brand.

2. Your family is on a long car trip. You have four hours left to drive and your kids are hungry. You:

a. Tell them a little hunger will provide character.
b. Pull out some snacks you packed beforehand.
c. Pull into McDonald's and order off the dollar menu.
d. Stop for a five-course dinner at an expensive restaurant.

3. Your son tears a hole in his last pair of jeans. You:

a. Tell him that torn jeans are in style and to wear them anyway.
b. Patch them up with some material you have on hand.
c. Take him to the thrift store to buy some "new" jeans.
d. Ask him if he prefers Eddie Bauer or Ralph Lauren before you head to the mall.

4. Your best friend asks you to be in her wedding with the understanding you will pay for your dress. You:

a. Ask if denim from your closet will match the color scheme.
b. Look for the bride's choice of dress on Ebay.
c. Pay for the dress the bride chooses even though you know you will never wear it again (and consider that you may be able to sell it on Ebay).
d. Pay for the dress and find cute accessories to go with it, offering to buy the same ones for the whole bridal party so everyone will be coordinated.

5. Valentine's Day is coming up and you know your husband will be getting you something. You:

a. Tell him three months ahead of time that you have always thought it silly to celebrate Valentine's Day and that everyday expressions of love are enough to make you happy.
b. Say nothing about it and hope he forgets.
c. Agree ahead of time how much you will spend on Valentine's Day presents and stick to it.
d. Hint for the three months ahead of time that you have always wanted to go on a cruise the week of February 14.

6. It's nearing Christmas and your kids have been begging for the latest video game system. You:

a. Tell them absolutely not, if an orange was good enough for Grandma it is good enough for them.
b. Tell them they'll have to wait and see and buy them a new outfit.
c. Tell them they'll have to wait and see and buy them last year's system.
d. Tell them of course you will and buy all the newest games to go with it.

7. Your friend surprises you by bringing lunch over--in an Arby's bag. You:

a. Tell her you couldn't think of eating fast food with all the starving people in the world.
b. Thank her profusely and carefully iron out all the sandwich wrappers to use later.
c. Tell her thank you and reciprocate a few weeks later.
d. Tell her that she has started an awesome daily tradition and that you will bring McDonald's over tomorrow.

8. Your mother calls and asks for gift recommendations for your daughter's upcoming birthday. You:

a. Suggest that she make a donation to a charity instead of giving a present to your daughter.
b. Suggest a thrift store gift card because she could really use some new clothes.
c. Give her a list of a few inexpensive but quality things your daughter would enjoy.
d. Give her the website of your daughter's birthday gift registry.

9. Your family decides to splurge and go out to dinner. You:

a. Vote for waters and splitting an order of fries at Burger King.
b. Vote for waters and splitting an appetizer at Denny's.
c. Use coupons to get buy-one-get-one-free dinners for the adults and go on Kids Eat Free night.
d. Order drinks, appetizers, salads, entrees and dessert for each person at a fancy restaurant and tip the waiter 25%.

10. You really love your morning cup of coffee. Your daily tradition is:

a. To brew a cup of coffee in your coffee pot using the same grounds for three days.
b. To brew a cup of coffee in your coffee pot and split it with your husband.
c. To make a pot of coffee each morning and save the leftover coffee for iced coffees later.
d. To stop by Starbucks on the way to work and on the way home for your grande latte with a double shot of syrup and whipped cream.

Your results:
a - You are hopelessly frugal.
b - You are frugal to a bit of an extreme.
c - You will raise some eyebrows but you're pretty balanced.
d - You could use a few budget cuts.

This is meant totally tongue-in-cheek therefore it need not offend you if any of the examples are actual scenarios in your life! :-)

Frugal or Frivolous?

I once read of a practice during the Great Depression when people were in desperate straits financially. A person would go into a restaurant and order a meal. While the waitress was putting the order in and the cook preparing it, they would fill their water glass with any condiments they found on the table: ketchup, salt, pepper, sugar, etc. and drink it as soup. When the waitress returned with their order, they had already left the restaurant. As I read this, my first philosophical thought was, "Ewww, gross!" My second was, "Maybe that's why the server never brings a glass of water in a restaurant anymore?" Then, I thought just a bit more deeply and came to the conclusion that this may be a frugal practice, but it is seriously lacking in ethics (not to mention, good sense!).

The other extreme happens as well. I've heard of dogs that have more toys and bigger bedrooms than my kids (or most people's kids for that matter). I remember the craze when Beanie Babies were new at McDonald's and people would buy the happy meals and throw them away to collect the toys. (Now, you can pick up these same Beanie Babies through Freecycle!).

Photo by scmtngirl

People that believe in frivolity poke fun at the "cheapskates". People that practice frugality shake their heads in disgust at the "spendthrifts". In today's economic times, "keeping up with the Jones' " could be interpreted differently if you have a lot of "green" neighbors. ("Oh, no! Did anyone see me buy that plastic wrap, use it once and throw it away?") Or not. (Uh oh. The kids at the playgroup are wearing this year's Gymboree outfits which means that they will be able to tell that my kids are wearing last year's that I bought from the thrift store!")

Photo by pixeljones

I will make my confessions. I have never used cloth diapers (although I think the diaper covers that are out now are so cute and almost wish I had!). I have made my own laundry soap, used it for a couple of months, and went back to store bought. I occasionally use convenience foods. I only recycle pop cans and only because my daughter collects them for extra spending money. (And, yes, they are from the pop that I buy!) When school is in session, I buy paper plates and napkins (and run out regularly).

I think the famed Proverbs 31 woman strikes a good balance between extreme frugality and frivolity. She works hard and is resourceful, yet her merchandise is good -- not cheap. She's careful how she spends her money, yet she isn't stingy--she willingly gives to the poor. She doesn't clothe her children in rags. In fact, though she makes all of their clothes, they are sewn with rich and beautiful materials. She even dresses herself in expensive clothing. Her husband has a good job (it would seem), yet she doesn't loaf around and attend multiple dinner parties. She works hard to stretch his income as far as it will go and adds to it herself.

As always, a discussion of this woman can drive us to despair that we will never be like her or it can inspire us to pick one aspect of her character and improve ourselves in that area. Let us strive to strike that elusive balance between the extremes of frugality and frivolity!

Guest Post: Fitness for the Whole Family

This is the time of year that homeschool mothers love. We’re planning our next school adventure and enjoying the summer with our families. I am actually behind in my planning this year with my brother visiting this week, but my husband leaves today for a month and that gives me plenty of time to get my school year planned out.

I always get so excited and anxious to dive into school after summer vacation. There’s something about new topics, notebooks, novels and colored pencils that gets my girls asking constantly when the first day of school is.

I also get this same excitement right before beginning a new fitness plan. New exercises, new equipment and a new goal gets me revved up. Do you have a fitness plan for the year? You should.

My plan follows the seasons. Right now I am in a strength building program until the last week of September. I will take a week off right before my RKC certification. When I return, I will take 12 weeks and do a muscle building program. I will take 2 weeks off and then begin my fat loss program so I will be ready for the summer.

Your program might just be fat loss for the year depending on how much fat you have to lose. But you should go no longer than 12 weeks at a time before taking a week or two off.

Homeschool moms are awesome schedulers. We can create an entire year of fun lesson plans. Don’t neglect physical education. Create some goals for your children this year and plan some great physical activities to help them attain those fitness goals.

My girls are avid tumblers. My oldest competed at the national level this year. She creates her own fitness goals such as sprinting faster, jumping higher, stronger shoulders and a core of steel. I then create a physical program that will help her achieve those goals.

Goals for students that are not at such a competitive level might be 50 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, run a mile under 25 minutes, jump rope for 1 minute non-stop, etc. I’m sure your kids can help you come up with some goals to achieve this school year.

Physical education should be a part of your homeschool experience. Create family goals and strive to achieve them together. Have fun, create some memories and get fit together this school year.

But don’t neglect yourself in not planning physical activity for yourself. There is no reason why you and your children should be on separate programs. A lot of women in my Workout of the Month Club include their children in their workouts. Mom and kids do the workout together in the morning before beginning their regular studies. What the moms have found is their children are able to focus better when doing their academic work and mom has a lot more energy to make it through the day. Also, not having the idea that you need to get your workout done looming over your head all day also keeps you stress free.

Sometimes creating a workout program for the whole family can seem like a daunting task with all the other subjects you need to plan for the year, but most programs can be modified for use with your whole family. I recently created a program just for homeschool moms that include a family challenge every week. While mom learns how to feed her family correctly and lose weight quickly, the kids have a lot of fun working out with mom. It’s a win/win in my book.

If you need help putting together a plan for your family this school year, be sure and visit our free membership site www.FitHomeschoolMoms.ning.com to get the support you need. We’ll get all your questions answered and help set you on the path to a fit and healthy family.

Coach Angela is the author of “The Fit Homeschool Moms Transformation Guide” and owner of Inspiration Fitness, Inc. She is the mother of 4 beautiful daughters and has been homeschooling for 12 years. To receive a free workout plan visit her blog www.HomeschoolFitnessCoach.com and download your free “Bookbag Workout for Homeschool Moms”.

Links and Book Review: Fitness Edition

I don't have an official book on fitness to review, but there are some free fitness books mentioned in the links below.

• Get a free devotional on fitness for Christian women here.
• Familyfitnessguru.com has several free e-books on fitness for parents and kids.
  
• Courtney from Women Living Well reminds us not to forget our spirits while caring for our "container". Stop by Courtney's blog every Friday for Fit Friday posts.
  
• If you want a more structured workout plan, Christian Frugal Mama has a free 7 day pass to Bally Total Fitness.
• A fun site that shows you how to get fit doing household chores.
• And my favorite fitness site run by my friend (and mentor), Coach Angela! More from her later this week.

Enjoy getting fit and healthy to the glory of God!

What do you do to keep fit? What kind of exercise program works for you? I'd love to hear about it!

Fitness With Kids

Exercising has always been a bit confusing and overwhelming for me. Since I made a goal to become fit and to lose my baby weight, I decided I needed to come up with a plan that worked. The only thing I've ever really done is walking. That's great when you don't have to tote toddlers and babies around, but that is not an option at this season of my life. Well, there is the treadmill, but staring at a basement wall for an hour isn't exactly something I love to repeat every day. A few months ago, I stumbled across a fitness site especially for Christian homeschooling moms completely by accident. The ideas were brand new to me. Some of you are well acquainted with interval and strength training and 20 minute workouts. I wish you would have told me earlier! If you're not, stop by on Friday and I'll have some links for you.

Photo by bepositivelyfit

So, what does a workout look like when you have kids? I'll tell you about one of our early fitness sessions:

I get into my hot pink workout clothes (a la thrift store) and head to the gym (aka my living room). I set Jerrod (my almost 1yo) up in the corner with his basket of toys. He looks at his mother curiously--hot pink is NOT one of my normal wardrobe colors. Jessica (my 7yo) is all excited to work out with Mom. We're going to do intervals. Then, I find out my new cell phone doesn't have a timer on it. I do what I always do when I don't have what I need--I look online. Swagbucks helps me find an internet timer that seems to be easy to operate. I get Jeffery (my 4yo) set up at the computer and explain how to do the timer. He practices a few times until I'm pretty certain he can do it alone. His assignment is to press the button to time me for 20 seconds, then call (from two rooms away) "Go!" When the timer stops, he is supposed to yell, "Stop!" Jessica and I are supposed to exercise at full intensity until he calls stop, have a brief rest to help him reset the timer and do it again (and keep repeating).

Jeffery starts the timer and yells, "Go!" We start in, huffing and puffing. About 3 seconds into our exercise he calls again, "Are you going? Did you start yet?" I ignore him, but Jessica is doing a version of the exercise that appears to be modified for a 90-year-old with a broken hip, so she has plenty of breath to yell, "Yes!" By this time, the countdown is complete and he yells, "Stop!" I reset the timer and begin the next round. After about 4 or 5 reps, he yells, "Go!" Then he repeats his question. I ignore him again and Jessica fields the chatter until he calls, "Stop!" again. A little more tired from the extra reps, I walk in and reset the timer again. This time I give him a little longer to start it and yell, "Go!" I am going at it as intensely as I can. One rep...two reps...three reps....10 reps? "Jeffery," I pant, "Is it time to stop yet?" No answer. Jessica, who wasn't doing much anyway, runs into the other room to investigate. "Mom!" Now it's her turn to yell. I stagger into the room and see Jeffery staring at a screen I've never seen before with that "deer-caught-in-the-headlights" look. "O.K. That's it for today!" I give up in exasperation. "Whew! Good. I was getting tired!" Jessica replies.

Photo by huladancer

I've since found a timer that simply rings on its own, and I do my workouts before the kids wake up.

Perspective and Priorities

A lost shoe. Spilled juice. Dirty diaper. Two changes of clothes. Last minute phone call. Skinned knee. Search for bandaids. Car seat that refuses to latch. Stalled traffic. Ten minute detour. Late arrival in less than good humor.

This is the story of many Sunday mornings at our house. It is also the account of what makes up a bigger portion of my life than I'd like to admit. Even more importantly, it is a list of things that I will not remember 20 years from now.

I recently made a list of my 20 year goals. They look so nice and bright...so far removed from the nitty gritty of the day-to-day. However, I know intuitively that those daily happenings are what makes up the reality of where I will be in twenty years. Somehow I have to get from here to there and the way I spend my days now dictates whether I will reach those goals that seem like lofty dreams from the perspective of spit-up-stained clothes and queries about the tooth fairy.

Photo courtesy of D Sharon Pruitt

I could share my schedule with you, but half of you would scoff at my lack of structure and the other half would roll your eyes with a "look how organized she is". My schedule, even if I lived by it perfectly (which I don't!), would not fit your day and situation. Regardless, the schedule, routine or to-do list is only a means to an end.

Photo courtesy of ASurroca

What about you? You may be a single now, but in twenty years you may be married or involved in ministry (the career God has for you is always your ministry). What you do today will prepare you for that goal. You may be married with no children today, but in twenty years you may have children to train or you may be enjoying life serving with your husband. Your to-do list today, in part, will pave the way for those activities. If your children are small, like mine are, you may feel that you will forever be wiping noses and breaking up fights. However, my children will likely be away from home in twenty years. Are my actions today (and yours) preparing them for a life of service to God and others?

Photo courtesy of army.mil

If you stopped by today to get new insight into the perfect schedule for you, I'm afraid you've been disappointed. However, I hope I've left you with something better...deeper. The Bible says that without vision the people perish. It also says that it is appointed unto each of us to die. Life as we know it today is all too short. Let's make every moment count for eternity!

Lessons from the Ant

My children love to listen to Jungle Jam stories. One of their favorites is the story of the day the members of the ant colony took a lesson from Gruffy Bear and decided to "be their own bear". The queen ant was away, so they stopped working and did whatever they felt like doing. When she returned and wondered where her worker ants were, someone told her that they were off "being their own bear". Her reply? "Oh, not again! Last year they were being their own sloth." Apparently this wasn't a new problem!



Proverbs 6 talks about the ant:

Go to the ant, thou suggard; consider her ways, and be wise:
Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler,
Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest.

The ants from the Jungle Jam story were indeed a work of fiction, because the Bible tells us that ants do their job--day in and day out, rain or shine--without anyone to tell them what to do. In the world, despite the anti-authority sentiment that is so popular today, everyone has to answer to someone. In high school, it is somewhat easy to be organized and get to class on time because there are consequences in the form of a bad report card or a disciplinary procedure from the teacher, if one does not do what he is supposed to do. In a place of employment, there is always someone higher to which to be accountable. Even if one is the president of the company, he must answer to a board of directors or something similar.

Being a housewife, stay-at-home mom, working mother or whatever other term you use to define yourself as the keeper of your home is very different. You have a job description, but it is not very clearly defined or spelled out for you. You don't have anyone stopping by to inspect your toilets to see if they are up to code (thank goodness!). You don't have an annual report to submit to an employer on the amount of laundry detergent used or the number of meals prepared. You don't even have an employer at all. You are totally on your own. The freedom this affords can seem to be a good thing, but if this attitude is taken too far it can only lead to laziness and frustration.

We hear a lot about "time management" these days. In trying to take seriously my job, which has "no guide, overseer or ruler", I have learned by sheer necessity that some structure has to be placed upon my days or I will accomplish nothing of value. Therein lies the key...what am I trying to accomplish? We'll talk more about that later this week.

What are some ways that you structure yourself and your home without an "overseer"?

Health Starts With Breakfast

Note: I am changing links and book review to tomorrow so I can finish the thought I began yesterday. If you haven't yet read yesterday's post, go there first.

As I told you, cooking at all was daunting to me as a teenage bride. However, breakfast was terrifying! I know, it's hard for most people to believe that frying eggs could make one nervous, but I'm not really like "most people". (You've probably figured that out by now, :-) For the first few years of marriage, we only ate a cooked breakfast on Saturday mornings, and it was always prepared by my husband with the exception of my operating the toaster. (Yes, I am being serious.)

Once I had children who were eating table food, I realized that I couldn't skip breakfast, feed them doughnuts or have my husband fix breakfast before leaving for work (his day started at 4:30 A.M.). It was very gradual, but one thing led to another.

One week, after buying six boxes of all our favorite kinds of cereal at a phenomenal deal of 40 cents a box or something like that (after sales, coupons and rebates), I realized that my children didn't particularly like cereal. Those boxes sat on the shelf until I finally had to give them away. So, I took the plunge into that famous beginning step of "crunchy mama" and made my own granola. They loved it! Even after a couple mornings....even after the first week!

That gave me a bit of confidence, and I began to try to cook. I found recipes for homemade things like pancakes, biscuits and syrup. I tried scrambled eggs, then fried eggs, and eventually omelets and frittatas. I quit buying muffin mixes and found out how to make my own muffins really easily.

As I learned about real food, I realized that a lot of our breakfast foods were real since I was making more and more without all the man-made additives and chemicals. Then, a friend told me about a really weird idea...smoothies. Now, we had eaten smoothies on occasion, but they usually gave my kids terrible headaches because they contained milk (an allergic food for my kids), so I had quit serving them. But my friend is vegan and she had a different idea of smoothies....green smoothies. Not green from food coloring or as a St. Patrick's Day marketing ploy...green from spinach. Spinach? Yes. She wanted us to drink spinach. Can you think of anything more gross? I couldn't, so I ignored her recommendation.

Finally, I ran out of new ideas as to how to include vegetables with breakfast, so I checked up on it. I made our first one in my VitaMix fully expecting my children to complain (at best). Flashback to early granola days....they LOVED them! Even after a couple of mornings in a row...even after the first week. The really strange thing was...I did, too. I, the former frequent doughnut eater, LOVE green smoothies.

Tomorrow, I will give you some neat links I've found about this surprising breakfast which we enjoy at least 3 times a week (or until I run out of spinach and fresh fruit). However, I will include one of our favorite combinations in case you can't wait to try it in your home! :-)

2 c. spinach
1 frozen banana (peeled, of course)
1 c. frozen grapes
1 c. strawberries
1 c. water
1 c. ice cubes

That's it! No sugar--frozen fruit is especially sweet. No milk--the banana makes it creamy. No bitter taste--spinach pretty much only contributes to the color, not the taste.

Who knows where else this will lead us? I've dabbled in healthier lunches and dinners, too, but I still have a LONG way to go there. At least I wasn't in the habit of doughnuts for dinner.

If you try a green smoothie and like it, please let me know. I'd also love to read your comments on your own health journey.

Beginning on the Journey of Healthy Eating

My journey as the main cook of a home has been...interesting...to say the least. Before I got married, I was too concerned with school and all the other more exciting pursuits of life, and did only the very necessary in the kitchen. My home economics teachers could tell some scary stories about me! My mother is an excellent cook, and I'm sure she tried to teach me, but I frankly didn't want to learn.

Fast forward to my marriage at an earlier age than anyone but God had planned. Sharing a home with a husband? I couldn't wait! Cleaning house and doing his laundry? I was thrilled! (Yeah, really. Time changes a few things. Only kidding!) But cooking? It scared me to death.

Not only was I totally inept in the kitchen, but neither of us came from the healthiest food backgrounds. Oh, I was familiar with many types of diets from the low-carb, high-protein one to the low-fat, high-sugar one. We had even tried the cabbage soup diet--for about one day. My husband's family rarely ate any fruits and vegetables and loved their saturated fats. My ideal breakfast was doughnuts and chocolate milk although I usually skipped breakfast altogether. His was eggs, bacon, white toast with margarine and a Pepsi.

I won't bore you with all the details of my trial and error learning to cook or our hit-and-miss attempts at healthy eating. When we had children, I began to be a little more concerned about health. That's probably when I started my research. I would read and read and read and then get overwhelmed with all the conflicting ideas and quit. Yet, something always kept pulling me back.

In more recent years, I've heard the most novel idea yet, and it's really growing on me--keep it real. Real food with the least intervention by man possible. As a Christian who believes God is the Creator and Sustainer of all things, the idea highly appeals to me. As a woman who loves to eat, the idea still appeals to me. Telling my husband that we must eat real food to be healthy, for the most part, appeals to him. It seems too simplistic. No weighing food or counting calories/fat grams/carbs? Just back to the basics how God intended it? Well, we are trying it, and it's amazing--the more small changes we make, the more small benefits we reap.

If you've been on the "real food" journey for a long time, you can skip this week's posts, although they might be good for a chuckle or two when you realize how far I have yet to go. All I can do on this blog is share, not advise. So, I'll be sharing about where we started in eating differently...where else?...breakfast.