Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Guest Post: Redefining Romance

It can be quite a challenge for a newly married woman to come to an
understanding of what romance means. Her mind is frequently full of fairy tales with a
handsome prince who can do no wrong. She cultivates visions of romantic dates,
beautiful bouquets of flowers, and a happily ever after.

Yet, very few men can live up to such a romantic vision. Even so, each man and
every husband has certain ways he demonstrates his love to his wife. The challenging
task before every wife is to learn what romance means to her husband. Rather than
holding her husband up to an ideal that he can’t meet, a wife needs to redefine romance
so that she appreciates what her husband does for her.

Release Your Husband From Your Expectations
Your husband loves you, but he demonstrates love differently than you do. It’s
easy to think of all the ways you want your husband to romance you, but your husband
may not be accustomed to those ways of being romantic. When your husband doesn’t
meet your romantic expectations, it is easy to become bitter. But this only hurts you and
your marriage.

Release your husband from your expectations. Acknowledge that romance
doesn’t have to be demonstrated in the way you want it to be. There are many different
ways to demonstrate romantic love to a spouse.

Recognizing His Cues
Learn to read your husband. Some men may give off subtle (or not-so-subtle)
clues as to when they think they are being romantic. Perhaps your husband smiles at
you a certain way when he’s demonstrating his life. Recognize that smile. Acknowledge
that when your husband smiles at you in that particular way, he’s being romantic in his
own way.

Watch your husband. Notice the small tasks he does to make your life easier.
Don’t overlook even small things your husband does. If he washes the dishes, learn to
view this as an expression of his love. If he watches the children one evening so you
can relax, thank him.

Do what it takes to learn how your husband demonstrates romance. Don’t wait
for your husband to become like a fairy-tale prince. Learn to feel loved by the way your
husband loves you.

Melinda and Carrie are 25-year-old twin sisters who have similar passions in life.  They both have a passion for encouraging women to embrace godly womanhood in whatever stage of life they are in through their blog at

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