Monday, January 10, 2011

Not Enough

I tiptoe into their room thinking of the day we just lived through together. I stop at the little one's crib. He lies still with his arm around his favorite Care Bear that is just slightly smaller than he is. My heart jumps as I cry to the Lord, "Today I wasn't gentle enough! I didn't enjoy him enough."

I turn to the bigger boy's bed. He lies on his back, breathing even and quiet. My heart jumps again as I think how much he looks like his daddy. "Lord, today I didn't hug him enough! I didn't laugh enough."

As quietly as I can, I step up the ladder to the top bunk where my daughter sleeps. My emotions get the best of me as I watch her clutching her doll and sleeping peacefully. "Lord, I didn't nurture enough. I wasn't patient enough."

I stand on the ladder with my head against the headboard. Then, He speaks. "You never have been enough. That's why I am here."

I go to my own bed with new humility and resolve to trust tomorrow. My newest little one is asleep as well and I ponder the next 18 years. No, I will never be enough. But He always will.

And I rest in that.


  1. Thank you for jotting down these candid thoughts and prayers. I needed this today. God bless you !

  2. This is beautiful. Thank you for posting this.