Monday, March 16, 2009

Don't Forget the Onions!

Although I love being a wife and mother, there are a few of my duties I must admit that I'd rather skip. I'm sure we all have our least favorite chores. One of mine, as silly as it might sound, is packing lunches. Since we homeschool, I don't usually have to pack a lunch for my kids (believe me, I don't do it for the fun of it!), but my husband takes a lunch on his truck every day. Since he doesn't have access to a microwave, all his food has to be something he can eat cold. So, most of the time, I pack sandwiches.

That leads to another problem. My dear husband also loves onions on his sandwiches. Now, I don't have anything against onions. I eat cooked onions in many of my dishes. I will occasionally dice them really small and eat them on a salad. However, I don't like to smell large slices of onion. During my pregnancies, doing so would bring serious consequences, if you know what I mean. I guess I carried that memory over into my non-pregnant life, and I dread the inevitable daily onion-slicing.

So, I began to "skip" once in a while. "He won't mind if I don't put the onion on his sandwich today," I would say. Pretty soon, I'd go a whole week without giving my beloved any onion on his sandwiches. My Man has been very patient with me over the years, and he never complained. The only comment he would make would be when he was making his own sandwich at other-than-lunch times. "Oh, we have onions? I thought we were out."

Soon, I began to feel guilty. The Lord spoke to me, "Is that really loving your husband? You are thinking of yourself instead of him." "It's only an onion--not a big deal at all. He doesn't mind my occasionally leaving it off,"I would reply. Then I remembered it hadn't been very occasionally. I tried another tack, "Of course I love my husband! We have a wonderful relationship."

Love, I read not too long ago, as in I Corinthians 13 style love, is not a noun or an emotion. I love how the King James Version calls it "charity". When one thinks of giving to charity, they are thinking of "doing" something. Love is a verb--an action word. It is not enough for me to have "warm, fuzzy feelings" for my husband. Real, Biblical love means to express my love in action.

I still occasionally leave the onions off of my husband's sandwiches, but more often than not, the Lord quietly reminds me, "Don't forget the onions!" I smile and slice them up because it really isn't a big deal. Now if I can only remember this the next time the stomach virus hits all my kids in the same night!


  1. Jennifer,

    Why don't you buy an onion slicer?

    On the flip side,I believe love goes both ways, as onions make you ill, why can't you husband slice his own onions and put them in a little tub in the fridge? It's true Love in Action. I would hate my husband making me doing something which makes me ill, when he could do it himself and it's not paralysed.

  2. I do enjoy your posts. They give real food for thought.
    In this instance I will have to concur with Sarah who posted above. Would he mind if he sliced his own onions? Another thought, do you keep your onions in the frig? I find they are less potent that way. I have a real crying problem when I handle onions and this helps tremendously.
    In the lunch packing department I must shamefacedly say that my husband packed both his and my lunch back when we were both working (before we had children). I found that to be very sweet of him.


  3. Acts of self-sacrifice are really what good marriages are made of!

  4. Thanks for the opinions, gals! I just wanted to clarify that although onions made me ill during pregnancy, now I just find the smell on my hands afterward annoying. Basically, I just get too lazy to add the onion. My husband would be happy to do it and does on occasion, but this is something that I feel I can do for him and it means a lot to him. My husband does a LOT for me that I could do for myself, so yes, it does go both ways. Onions is not the point, really, the point is to love our husbands with action. I'm not going to address the husbands since this is a woman's blog, but it should go without saying that it goes both ways.

  5. Jennifer,

    If it's only the smell of the onions, then it's not a problem at all. There are silver soaps which you can buy which last a lifetime and they get rid of the smell immediately. There are so many little gadgets out there to solve all of these minor problems.

    Love always comes with actions. I really don't believe you can love someone without doing anything, it's a natural reaction.

    Thanks for agreement Beth:-)

  6. I think this is beautiful.

    I myself love onions, cooked that is, but also hate slicing them. They burn my eyes terribly, even little spring onions! Putting then in the fridge really does help...anyway, the point of your post is absolutely beautiful and I really appreciate it. I have had people say to me, why don't you make him do such and such and I feel the same way--he does so much for me, can't I do something for him? Isn't it the same with our Lord? He does so very much for me...what can I do, then, for Him? :)xo

  7. Thank you, AnneMarie, for understanding the sentiment of what I was saying. Yes, our Lord does so much for us!

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  9. Apologies for the spelling error. Posted again

    I've noticed that some wives get upset or annoyed when you say to them, can't your husband do it? My view on things is this, whether you are a wife or a husband, either person can do it. I can't see what harm is done. Here is a little poem. I don't know who wrote it, but it sums up a lot of things.

    Once upon a time, there were four people: Their names were Everybody, Somebody, Nobody and Anybody. Whenever there was an important job to be done, Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. When Nobody did it, Everybody got angry because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Somebody would do it, but Nobody realised that Nobody would do it. So consequently Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done in the first place.

  10. Sarah,
    I agree. In our home we find that arguing about who does what is extremely unproductive. For us, we simply abide by God's plan for a family and occasionally help each other outside of our areas of expertise (i.e. my husband will cook a meal or I will work overtime at my home phone job). I find it terribly immature and sad for couples to spend their married lives arguing about who does what. I don't allow that in my children, so I certainly wouldn't want to allow it in my own life. Have you ever noticed, though, that it's not the men that do the arguing? God help us women!