"No." My husband cut my dreams short with a single word. I was a bit stunned. He went on, "I hate wallpaper. It's a pain to put up, and it doesn't look nice as long. We'll paint the rooms."
After a momentary grumble, I could see his point; and I wasn't eager to try out our novice wallpapering skills in my Victorian-style rooms. After all, there was an existing border in the room. I could work with that. My plans switched to soft, feminine paint colors.
"How about a light rose or a periwinkle blue?" I began musing aloud.
"We'll just paint all the rooms an off-white neutral color. We're not going to be here forever, and neutral colors sell better," was my husband's reply to that.
With a sigh, I conceded another excellent point. Off white paint with the floral border that was already there. O.K., I could live with that. But he wasn't finished...
"We'll have to remove or paint over the border that's there. If I try to tape it off when painting, it will ruin it completely since it's already peeling off here and..."
How is it that practical husbands can so easily kill dreams? Being the meek and submissive wife that I am, I
The Lord began speaking to me as He has a way of doing. "Whose house it is anyway?" He probed gently. I sighed, "Well, of course it's Yours, Lord, but what does that have to do with anything? I mean, You want us to have an atmosphere of beauty, right? That's my feminine calling to make our home a place of beauty." "So it's My house and yours? Where does your husband come in?" Ouch. I was speechless before the Lord. Which was right where He wanted me--finally listening so He could talk for awhile.
A secular author I read once, called a man's habit of leaving his newspapers strewn on the floor, his shoes in the middle of the room and his coffee mug on the coffee table "marking his territory". Since I don't believe in evolution, I find that a bit demeaning, but there is some merit to it being his home, too.
On a strictly financial level, even if you and your husband pay for your home by making equal amounts of income and putting half each toward the mortgage payment and upkeep, shouldn't he at least have a say in decorating half of the rooms? How many of us wives--working for pay or working at home--let our husband have full control of the planning for 3 out the 6 rooms in our home, or 6 of the 12? That's only fair, right?
The end of the story is that there isn't an end to the story. Our home and our marriage are dynamic. The Lord is always working on us and changing us. Presently, our living room and dining room are painted off-white; however, the kitchen is wallpapered, my husband has his own den in the basement (decorated with brown paneling and carpet--very utilitarian), and I'm picking out soft, feminine paint colors for our upcoming bedroom paint job.
Most importantly, I try not to grumble when I pick up stray socks because I'm gently reminded again that it's his house, too. It's freeing, really. Instead of grumbling and immediately wiping up muddy footprints on my newly mopped kitchen floor, I can greet my husband with a passionate kiss and ask how his day went. Which sounds more fun to you?
What are your ideas for making a house an "ours" house? Please share in the comments!