In the first epistle Paul wrote to Timothy, he tells him how to conduct church family relationships:
I'm not sure how well the men are fulfilling their part, but as I look at the Christian community in general, I'm a little concerned with how we women are acting. It seems like a lot of us have forgotten to treat the men around us as if we were sisters and have decided to be their seducers instead.Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren;The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity. (bold type mine)
Yes, I see those eye rolls...."here she goes again....I've heard it a million times....modesty". And we say that word with disdain. Why? Why is modesty such a despised word? Why would we want to be a temptation to our brothers in Christ and bait to a world of lost men? Why would we want to showcase our bodies therefore detracting from the light of Jesus to a lost world around us? What motive could we possibly have for showing too much skin, wearing clothes that are too form-fitting or acting in ways that attract men other than our husbands?
In a proper brother/sister relationship, each party looks out for the other. My brother knows where I am weak, and he takes up the slack. I try to do the same for him. In general, I don't see that among my Christian sisters. We may compete with our brothers in Christ or belittle them, but we don't take an extra moment to think as we dress in the morning, "Is this outfit going to make me a source of temptation for one of my brothers?"
When my brother came to me in kindergarten with trembling chin, asking for some lunch money so he could buy a sandwich, do you think I turned my back and said, "That's your problem! You shouldn't have forgotten yours! I want to use my money the way I want to use it." No, I was happy to share what I had because we were family. Because I loved him.
Is it too much to ask, dear sister, for you to love your Christian brothers with the love of Christ? To dress in a way that makes them comfortable to be around you and converse with you without fear of temptation. To act in a way that makes them identify with you as a sister and nothing else?
Yes, he's responsible for his own thoughts and actions, but to commit adultery it takes two. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28:
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. (emphasis mine)In Jesus' eyes, if a man lusts after you because of your own indiscretion, you are his partner in adultery.
Consider your husband---present or future. Preserve your purity, and as much as lies within you, the purity of your Christian brother ---present or future. Let's dress in a way that shows we are sisters....not seducers.