Monday, February 23, 2009

Keys to A Loving, Lasting Marriage (Part Two)

This is Part Two of a series, (Go here to view Part One) and I will begin with the same "disclaimer" I did last time:
I am going to share with you a few things passed down to me by other Godly couples, things I've learned from studying the Bible's plan for marriage and things that experience has taught me. These are not my ideas at all, but God's.

4. Be best friends. If you've been part of planning a wedding in the last 10 years or so, perhaps you've noticed the trend in bride's magazines for a bride to have a "best man" instead of a maid of honor. The explanation is that he is her best friend and she'd rather have him stand beside her on her "special day" than a girl. Does this question come to anyone else's mind: Why didn't she marry him? There is no one I would rather be with than my husband. While it's true that there are some things that only another woman understands, my deepest dreams and fears are discussed with my husband alone. I believe that's the way God intended it. He tells the man to "leave his father and mother, cleave unto his wife and they shall become one flesh". If we are supposed to leave our own parents, wouldn't you think that our husband should come before another friend and should be our best friend?

5. Communicate in a positive way. It's amazing to me how many women treat the love of their life in an unkind way. They speak sharply, condescendingly, angrily to their husband when they would never speak that way to any other human being. If our husbands are truly our best friends, all communication that we have with him should be positive and respectful. Of course, the old saying goes, "Familiarity breeds contempt." Let's not let that happen in our marriages!

6. Squash bitterness. I am convinced that one of the biggest reasons a marriage fails is bitterness. Frustration can lead to resentment which leads to bitterness against our husband if we allow it. Marriages don't end just because one day one or both of the spouses wakes up without a "feeling" of love. Losing that love is a gradual process. If I let a situation like the one I mentioned in Part One allow me to have resentful thoughts toward my husband, this can soon become an attitude and will drive me to bitterness towards him. Bitterness and love cannot coexist.

What are some ways you can cultivate your friendship with your husband today? What are some positive ways you can communicate with your husband? What do you do to guard against bitterness?


  1. I never knew that there was a trend of having a "Bestman" rather than a "Maid of Honor". Weird! I stuck with tradition.
    Good marital advice.
    Before my husband & I got married our minister suggested we read a book called His Needs, Her Needs: Building an affair-proof marriage written by Willard F Harley, Jr.
    It is a good book. I was thinking of doing a series on it starting either this week or next week.
    Take care,

  2. Yes, I've read that. It is good. I also like The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. For the more "practical" side, Linda Dillow's book (can't remember the name) and Tim and Beverly LaHaye's The Act of Marriage.

  3. Yes,I think it is silly for a bride to have a best man, or for a groom to have a female groomsman. You're right, why didn't they marry that person?? Crazy thinking today.